Sunday, March 3, 2013

Happiness is so uncool

First, I didn't know Anne Hathaway was so hated, at least by women-girls in NYC.  She was good in "Devil Wears Prada" and was a convincing Catwoman. She was cute and funny in the bit I saw her in "Get Smart." I didn't really like her in that depressing draggy dysfunctional family drama, but that was more the movie.
But anyway, it's always been tricky being a girl and we should praise girls who might show that they want praise.  I kind of like Anne Hathaway, as sort of a younger Julia Roberts-type.
Anne Hathaway: The New Yorker
I think I like happy people.

I'm going to generalize about Girls now:
We are taught early to hide ambition in order to be liked, and praise the other girl in the room ("I LOVE your HAIR!")...And then, I guess, when we see a girl not really playing this game, we're like Dude, don't you know how this goes?  It's complicated though, because hiding our ambition/desires/pro-self-ness can demonstrate a whole array of things for both ourselves and others:

  • hiding that we care makes it easier to fake being ok when we fail (for ourselves and others)
  • hiding ourselves on purpose to highlight someone else shows that we (girls) care about others, by giving them the floor that we know/believe/hypothesize they empathy or sympathy
  • hiding is what we're taught (at least I was) from such a young age, so it's uncomfortable to be self-promoting or cheerleading for oneself.  feels gross.  
  • minimizing ourselves is part of this deft social game, this intelligence that reflects that you understand the complex web of other people's thoughts, feelings, and actually you DO care how they perceive if you don't "play," you are maybe lacking this type of intelligence? but then why all the resentment?  
I have no idea why people/women like Jennifer Lawrence, in contrast to A.H.  And I think people are being too sensitive if they are offended by the The Onion's tweet about the little girl from "Beasts of the Southern Wild"--I think it points out the ridiculous scrutiny and phony love/ hatred extremes of celebrity-watching and -worship.  And the Onion always does that stuff--go to extremes and point out our ridiculousness.  That's like their JOB.  You should see that movie, though ("Beasts/Southern Wild"): that little girl is amazing.  I can't remember her name but it starts with a Q.
I don't know exactly why...well, maybe I do...but this whole silly debate reminds of Helen Hunt in "Every Day" (Liev Schrieber).  Have you seen it?  
Also-what does sarcasm and suffering have to do with it?  We like unhappy, morose, dark, mopey people?  I don't think so.  Wait, maybe socially-awkward and shy can be endearing... I need to think about this more.


  1. Hmmmm...I'm definitely on the AH-hater list (as you well know), but I can't say exactly when the tide turned for me. Sometime in the past year or so. I actually liked her in Devil Wears Prada and even thought she did a decent job at the Oscars (though they were kind of terrible that year). And I understand the thing about girls and the social games we play. I'm not really advocating that we suppress our desires or needing to be liked and praised. But there is a way to do that sincerely and AH hasn't tapped into that yet. She is too busy acting. Maybe that's why I find it off-putting. I want to see her authentic self saying this is me. You like me, you really like me.

  2. I didn't know you were an official AH-hater! I have to agree that when your gut says someone (girl or boy) is full of it, it is def off-putting.. I watched a bit of that duo-hosting /Oscars with James Franco (drunk? stylist?) and AH, and W H O A that sucked.
    For me, I might be doing some superduper compensating, like I say to myself (since I haven't seen her much --like, I haven't seen any of her public appearances in the last yr--) that I wish I were so Sunshine and Rainbows! god, it's the worst when people are trying too hard though and are oblivious.
    Unrelated, I wish we could have lunch. Or I could babysit for you. Or I could just come over to your house and hang. You wouldn't even have to talk to me; I"ll just soak up the fun cutey atmosphere. (I lied, I want to talk!)

  3. Ok...just checking back here on the comments. I WANT YOU TO COME AND STAY. AND PLAY AUNTIE RISA. Oh, how fun that would be. Seriously. Like promise me. And we will have lunch. And talk. And there will be no babysitting. We will drink wine and ignore them and all their cuteness.

  4. Oh, and the funny thing about AH...I saw her on the Today show at the beginning of the awards season (when she was asked about how she flashed her naked crotch at the paparazzi) and I loved her answer. She was very direct and honest and said it was unfortunate that the press would publish a photo of her in such a vulnerable moment (exiting a car) and that she wished that sex wasn't commodified and sold that way...blah, blah Fantine. But for a minute, I was really rallying to her side. And I thought she turned Matt Lauer on his ass. So yay, Annie!