Wednesday, April 29, 2009

psycho products

you're kidding me! ("bathing daily becomes a bit more exciting...")


some people--asking for it. not hot.

glistening can be hot, this seems too pungent, drippy

"PEOPLE! I need your eyes!"
yes, he said to this me at a rehearsal (or maybe it was the guy next to me, or behind me..?)

Monday, April 27, 2009

unfair and imbalanced

regarding HGCF (Hot Guys of Classical Music), currently being compiled, am i to be a disinterested party or should i just stick all my fingers in every pie (ew)? well obviously i can't possibly stay neutral--that's no fun. ok, fine, you win, i'll be the Decider. i am the arbiter of HOTness. i'll take on that responsibility if i must. it's my [unread] blog after all and self-indulgence is its heart and soul, as you know. but to be fair, i will provide my idea, my standard of timeless hotness--tyrone power, oh. so. beautiful. also, i'll provide a sampling of classical musicians, oh say the saint louis symphony..hmm.

Sunday, April 26, 2009


balance is important, in everything. also, music is a [show]bizness. therefore, the time has come for the definitive, highly-awaited, extremely official "HOT GUYS OF CLASSICAL MUSIC" posting. nominations may be submitted, but please, let's not be like that silly website ("beautyinmusic," i believe it was called--barf) where everyone submitted their girlfriends or wannabe girlfriends. to be clear, no "inner beauty" or "love how he plays" nonsense; we want hotties. guys, don't feel bad about objectifying yourself (think of all the tail--male and female--you'll get). don't be shy. (no one reads this blog anyway!). i'm starting you off with an example. i know, a conductor, boo--but he is the spitting image of dr. chase on HOUSE (see how everything links up so nicely)... *gasp* so hot!


dear mr. laurie, i thought that the only House episode with a korean main character (sick person) was really really profoundly well done. JOHN CHO, who plays harvey park, is an asphyxia-philiac (sp?)---so perfect! his dominatrix (whose services he compensates by cleaning her house and doing her taxes) compassionately defends his "fetish", explaining that when he feels stressed he needs to "feel in control by being controlled"-- and that when you let yourself trust another person, trust someone that much, it really opens you up, really changes you. this has so many relatable parallels! of course dr. house is completely perplexed/fascinated because he trusts no one and refuses to be controlled by anyone--but annette (dominatrix) is so sincere and, i don't know, impassioned, one can't help but open one's mind up a bit and think about it. back to me, i can COMPLETELY relate. as an only child, korean-amer., brought up by my pioneering, ambitious, tough-minded immigrant parents, i was completely controlled. any straying behavior or thought was whapped outta me before i could even find my own mind. then isn't it perfectly understandable that (in "adult" life)i feel more relaxed when other people make decisions for me, tell me where to go, what to do, how my hair can be improved. it's a mini-version, but i feel myself doing that a lot---consciously letting go of my urge to hang on, letting go of resistance, and completely submitting, giving it up... and sometimes there is a plus. sometimes it does feel good. in some circumstances, like let's say a nerdy example like chamber music or other groupy activity, giving it up (or opening your ears up outta your own sound/part) gives you this great feeling of being part of the whole, of hearing the whole piece differently, a chance at surrending your ever-precious ego.. the tricky part is all the components of submission-- (1)how to let go, (2)when to let go, (3)can u trust the "group" and simultaneously hold on to your own personal responsibility? back to harvey park, of course his parents (mom was definitely korean actress, dad was definitely NOT--fu manchu mustache makes me think chi-nese), accountants (uh duh) disowned him when they found out about his "proclivities" and house threatens them with their own kind of humiliation, exposing them in "every dumpling shop and nail salon in pennsylvania" (sorry, i love that--except that it should be "every dry cleaner and nail salon"). is this wrong: i find this to be a very truthful depiction of possible korean family... wait, if i liked to be strangled, would my parents disown me? hmm.

true identity

this is what i really look like. (no, that's not nancy kwan! oh stop. i was not in flower drum song.) anyway, i think life is easier for the pretty people. at least when eyes linger on you you have more of a chance at stuff. doors literally open, right? (you don't have to hold it open and try to talk/charm/impress your way in). life is easier for suzy wong, ni hao.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

coke-fueled ambition

i love the off-and-on faux british accent, the fact she went to sacred heart, her claim she can have an orgasm just by "sense memory"... the best though is her comment that she "wasn't a lazy drug addict," but in fact a motivated and productive one. lady gaga is liberating.

Friday, April 24, 2009


um, you look well gay here, sir... what range!
also, am so SHOCKED: well, i commend your dedication to the craft.

magical creature

dear mr. laurie,
i've never showered in my life and yet i'm better groomed than all of you.
love, aggie

Thursday, April 23, 2009

for the korean kids

advice i was raised with:

ya have pains? complaints? questions? frustrations?

well, "CHAM-uh"!

the hero himself

most excellent one

might as well smile

dear hugh laurie (sir hugh?),
for a mere $139.99 you can purchase this
from Skymaul--"Use King Tard to guard your yard"
my pal JV found this book in super cool store in sf--both of us started laughing so hard we began snorting and crying and peeing our pants. ok, not the peeing part, but am surprised we didn't get thrown out!
(even hugh laurie, OBE, would have lost bladder control, i believe.)

i can't; i'm not worthy

i find directly addressing hugh laurie, OBE, a little presumptuous and embarrassing. OBE -- "Most Excellent Order of the British Empire"--pretty much backs me up that i'm not worthy. ("most excellent"! so very bill and ted, ha!)
to say i'm a fan, that's embarrassing. to say it's gone beyond fan-hood, that's embarassing too. the truth is i must be *cringe* Superfan: i've watched all the episodes of jeeves and wooster and the first three seasons of house approximately a billion times... is this freakish? obsessive? no! it was therapeutic.
possibly: house is therapy for those who don't want to get therapy. or maybe: house is therapy for people who are lonely but refuse/hate to admit it. whatever it is, house soothes and comforts like nothing else.
beyond hugh laurie, beyond the mesmerizing spell he casts, house is unique because it has a distinct, consistent overarching philosophical theme, or themes--the plot is, while not irrelevant, merely a backdrop--
off the top of my head, the general jist is--
Life--is not merely a test.
Hope is for sissies. Don't save regrets for a deathbed soundbyte.
You have to do what you think is right.
Everything sucks, might as well smile.

i think that's basically it. it's not just "everybody lies" and dr. house is an asshole. i don't know whose plan it was, but the writers consistently address things that don't get addressed in daily life (in my daily life)---about complacency, action, what gives life meaning, does meaning even exist, are we mainly chemistry/biology or can your will overcome that, why are we here, what is it all for--
if life is not a test, does one's life become more meaningful/important, or less? is it comforting or discomforting, disturbing...? personally it makes my tendency toward cowardly passivity seem almost sinful.

i LOVED ltmj

dear hugh,
i believe i am trying to steal the format/style of my fave blog in the world (Letters From the End Consumer, previously Letters to Marc Jacobs)--by the most endearing writer (emi)!! her eye for style! cuteypie kids! astute quirky BRILLIANT observations!! well, my attempt (futile?)is tribute really. reading her blog transforms my depressed brain into a brain that explodes with hearts, flowers, hope, possibility; it is not hyperbole to say that she saved my life many times. yes a blogger who SAVES LIVES and inspires people AROUND THE GLOBE! and all in this charming, unassuming prose--simple, sincere, sharply intelligent and whimsically observant. how does it work? how is it so seemingly effortless? it is magical maybe. i even considered moving to sweden. i thought maybe if i lived in sweden it'd be easier to emulate/imitate (impersonate?) "e"--soon i too would be able to note everyday beauty w/o cheezy sentiment, be a new person, a running person, a Positive Force in the Universe... bleh! i feel i've already failed, since this is rambling and dull. she would never be rambly and dull, i am sure. i want spare elegant sentences, but i have tragic propensity for run-on sentences and too many commas and semi-colons and disorganized thoughts (see?)...but i do care and i do think writing is important. thinking, also, very important. (except not thinking too much, which is trouble-making)

edible buddha, dean +deluca

who could take a bite out of the buddha? will it bring enjoyment? wisdom? and will someone buy the one remaining Jumbo Buddha?
(i wanted to start this with a kind of "huh?" tone, which i think i've achieved).
i AM obsessed with hugh laurie. the title of the blog implies i will write to him, for him, whatever..but i am way too chicken.