Sunday, April 26, 2009


dear mr. laurie, i thought that the only House episode with a korean main character (sick person) was really really profoundly well done. JOHN CHO, who plays harvey park, is an asphyxia-philiac (sp?)---so perfect! his dominatrix (whose services he compensates by cleaning her house and doing her taxes) compassionately defends his "fetish", explaining that when he feels stressed he needs to "feel in control by being controlled"-- and that when you let yourself trust another person, trust someone that much, it really opens you up, really changes you. this has so many relatable parallels! of course dr. house is completely perplexed/fascinated because he trusts no one and refuses to be controlled by anyone--but annette (dominatrix) is so sincere and, i don't know, impassioned, one can't help but open one's mind up a bit and think about it. back to me, i can COMPLETELY relate. as an only child, korean-amer., brought up by my pioneering, ambitious, tough-minded immigrant parents, i was completely controlled. any straying behavior or thought was whapped outta me before i could even find my own mind. then isn't it perfectly understandable that (in "adult" life)i feel more relaxed when other people make decisions for me, tell me where to go, what to do, how my hair can be improved. it's a mini-version, but i feel myself doing that a lot---consciously letting go of my urge to hang on, letting go of resistance, and completely submitting, giving it up... and sometimes there is a plus. sometimes it does feel good. in some circumstances, like let's say a nerdy example like chamber music or other groupy activity, giving it up (or opening your ears up outta your own sound/part) gives you this great feeling of being part of the whole, of hearing the whole piece differently, a chance at surrending your ever-precious ego.. the tricky part is all the components of submission-- (1)how to let go, (2)when to let go, (3)can u trust the "group" and simultaneously hold on to your own personal responsibility? back to harvey park, of course his parents (mom was definitely korean actress, dad was definitely NOT--fu manchu mustache makes me think chi-nese), accountants (uh duh) disowned him when they found out about his "proclivities" and house threatens them with their own kind of humiliation, exposing them in "every dumpling shop and nail salon in pennsylvania" (sorry, i love that--except that it should be "every dry cleaner and nail salon"). is this wrong: i find this to be a very truthful depiction of possible korean family... wait, if i liked to be strangled, would my parents disown me? hmm.

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