Thursday, September 26, 2013

I am NOT without REGRET!

omg, I like this better.  SO MUCH BETTER.  but i paid for stupid wordpress.  i'm trying to think of the cool things about wp, but the thing is I really liked that responsive (mobile advantage for sure) thing and I LIKED THE BALLOONS THEME.  but i don't even use that now.  i switched to "MISTY LAKE"and I can't even change colors.  Even after I poked around with in the code and searched the horrible mess of wordpress support forums....

serenity now.

Friday, August 2, 2013

I Moved! And Don't Ask Me Why. (But I Could Whip Up Some Answers)

I moved to BANANAMAP.
It's more fun there.  I mean it.
There are B A L L O O N S.  No kidding.  Yeah, I knew I could entice you!

(Laura George, Etsy)

But, cuz I like the blogger setup so much (better than ahem wp), I may return someday... (I'm looking off into the distance)

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Y B a B Corp?

We are in the business of preserving and improving human life.  All of our actions must be measured by our success in achieving this goal.
From the Merck (founded 1891) Internal Management Guide, 1989

This post is a kind of a Part 2 to my previous post:
Can you imagine a company like Merck, staying true to their core ideology for more than 100 years?  
I am inspired by all the ideas in Built to Last.  

We have decided to be a Benefit Corp ("B Corp"), to be held to the highest standards of public benefit, monitored by a third party. 
Here's what B Lab says: 
Benefit Corporations are a new class of corporation that are required by law to create a material positive impact on society and the environment and to meet higher standards of accountability and transparency.

Profile Health Systems (We make products that personalize healthcare and help you make the best decisions about your health) will be the first Delaware B Corp -- the law will be signed on July 17th

Our Mission: 

Through social entrepreneurship, spirit of cooperation, and a dedication to people over profits:
  • Give everyone in the world access to, and benefit from, the sum of all health knowledge.
  • Provide an intelligent health management system whose logic evolves from impartial crowd-sourced data input, providing personalized guidance to help people understand and take control of their health.
  • Help healthcare providers engage and empower their patients — improve communication, diagnosis, and follow-up, while reducing the workload on providers and lowering healthcare costs.
  • Strive to cause no harm to people or the environment and improve the health of both.
  • Illuminate the connections between personal and environmental health and enable our patients to take action to improve the health of both.

Surprising Yourself About Yourself (and, Niceness is Profitable)

I am the most shocked to say that the old chestnut (first published in 1994) Built to Last is my new bible -- and very sincerely I say to you: it IS spiritual.

Did you know that the company Sony, even though it defined itself from the beginning as an electronics/technology company, first made rice cookers, sweetened bean-paste soup, and heating pads?

It's more than fascinating how these 50+ year companies have lasted not because they were the best at maximizing profits and knowing their market better than their competitors or any other "business savvy"-type reason.  They seemed to have lasted through the years because they established and continually reinforced certain similar values -- employees and products before stakeholders and profits, research and academic, scientific study over market potential, the best quality and ever-innovative products (even at high financial risk) before lowered standards and/or "safe" copycat products, and an almost mushy emphasis on PEOPLE as their most valued and valuable resource.  

The founders of these 18 companies felt a responsibility to their employees at a level never seen before in business.  These were the companies that first instituted employee profit-sharing and stockownership, company-wide health insurance and retirement (percentage-based, from janitor to CEO) -- all unprecedented. And nearly all of them instituted this primary responsibility to their employees -- codified it -- in official culture or vision statements which were not just lip-service but really practiced and reinforced at all levels of the company.  You can see that their decisions were all aligned with their values, and they never veered. 

These company visions were so important to the founders -- to design and establish a workplace structure that prioritized the individuality and contribution of each employee, and encouraged innovation and respect for the creative process -- that most often they were formally written even before a single product had been made.  For example, Sony had their philosophy (a passionate document, apparently very lengthy, written in 1945 Japan -- the end of World War II -- by the founder, Masaru Ibuka) codified back when they were making bean-paste soup, way before they were even profitable.  Motorola (founded 1928), IBM (1911), 3M (1902), Merck (1891), among others, formalized a philosophy of the company from its formation.  

It's a total switcheroo:  the product created is the company itself.  Products were irrelevant, or at least subservient to the principles and structure of the company.  (Marriott started out making root beer at a nine-seat location.) What is also remarkable is that these founding statements, often in their original wording, survived CEO after CEO over decades, because of the strength of belief and their wide-spread indoctrination throughout the institution.  (Also, upper management was nearly always promoted from within the company.)

It seems illogical (and definitely un-business-school-like) that any company would put human value and real ethical responsibility over "business"; I never would have believed it.  I have never been the tiniest interested in anything business-related, because it seemed coldly calculating all the way to the core.  But this rigorous six-year research study at the Stanford GSB (Graduate School of Business) -- Thank you, Jim Collins and Jerry Porras! -- proves the connection between commitment to the highest human ideals and market leadership and success. They held to their own standards, weathering some very hard periods of history and turns in the market.  Reading their founding documents, it's amazing how idealism and ethical responsibility really were chief in their motivations for starting a company.  You'd think it would be seen cynically, like Yeah sure, ethics and responsibility wins out over maximum profits? It's hard to believe, and there's a natural skepticism about companies as only profit-driven.  "Corporation" is now pretty much synonymous with "Corruption"-- a cold and cruel, morally bankrupt pursuit of money and power.  However, in the case of these 18 companies at least, their ideologies of values and purposefulness (to all humans) are really not meaningless platitudes.  

Now everyone hears and reads of all the B.S.-y "vision statements" and "values" that companies tout, and I was the first to scoff and be cynical.  I read this one company's statement of values --  pure nuggets about humility, integrity, authenticity -- then thought of the company's snobby founders and almost threw up from the insincerity.  But this book made me believe again.  Maybe I'm naïve, but it renewed my "youthful idealism" (see how cynical I still am, putting in quotes!).  It's just so GENIUS that this proof exists! For me, it's like officially finding out that actions matter, intentions matter, that we are meant for more than surviving and getting by.  Of course I can't hang out that long in this idealistic bubble, I know that some of these companies have veered off course a bit (or completely), but the pure long-term sustainment of vision (decades!) is commendable, admirable, and makes me stretch my own idea of what human capacity really can be.  Caring about people and being competitive are not mutually exclusive.  

Because we didn't have fear, we could do something drastic.                 Masaru Ibuka, Founder of Sony Corporation, 1991

Thursday, June 20, 2013

I planted a tree... my APARTMENT! and I didn't screw it up!

$5 decal from Kmart

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Cats Always Don't Care About Anything.

Just browsed Omoi Zakka Shop.  It's Japanese and some Swedish stuff (WeSC), and a random assortment of cool things seemingly designed to tempt me. I want all their notebooks. And can one rationalize acquiring 5-6 amusing tape dispensers? Just say NO! (I'm saying this to myself. ) This shop has a storefront in Philly, of all places !

Pocky chopsticks!!

Stationery set!

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Best of Facebook

Thank you, Ann, for posting so many day-brighteners!  I haven't been to NY in two years (!), but next time for sure, I'm meeting your kiddies!
Of course Facebook has cute kids galore, but here ya go, the cutest, personality+ (EXUBERANT!) pretty little sisters in NY:

Can we bottle this ?  I'd buy it!

Carolina--so fashionable, non? Is she wearing Missoni?

Just a great picture--dog bigger than Elisa, the awesome headband!

ANN! One of the Great MOMS.
(Sorry I didn't include Nacho, one of the Great DADS!)

I Concur

both by Laura George (Laura Berger, Chicago)
(I found on

Thank you, Gretchen Rubin

"To be mature you have to realize what you value most.  It is extraordinary to discover that comparatively few people reach this level of maturity.  They seem never to have paused to consider what has value for them.  They spend great effort and sometimes make great sacrifices for values that, fundamentally, meet no real needs of their own.  Perhaps they have imbibed the values of their particular profession or job, of their community or their neighbors, of their parents or family.  Not to arrive at a clear understanding of one's own values is a tragic waste.  You have missed the whole point of what life is for."         (Eleanor Roosevelt)

I just started subscribing to Gretchen Rubin's "Moment of Happiness"-- daily quotations sent to your email.  Have you read The Happiness Project?  A lot of it is helpful and inspirational (and motivational).  I'd say (for myself, of course) that all of it all at once is a bit overwhelming...I took a few chapters at a time, skipped ahead, and went back to review.  Recently I went to her blog, and it's a bright and optimistic place, full of personal anecdotes and reader sharing, and lots of great ideas to try.

[I especially appreciate that she (Gretchen Rubin) is a fan of children's literature and actually started a children's lit reading group for ADULTS.  Now I can come out of the closet! I love re-reading Lucy Maud Montgomery (Anne of Green Gables), Roald Dahl (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory), Chronicles of Narnia...I know there's lots of us who loved Laura Ingalls Wilder and cried reading Charlotte's Web.  The fun books that got me reading when I was really little were of course Ramona Quimby, this Betsy book series --by Carolyn Haywood (I just looked it up) and of course Judy Blume -- those books were SO fun!  They were my escape and comfort -- immediate comfort -- and I bet they still work better than Valium.  When I work with the kids in the literacy program in middle school it seems like reading (to them) is not a comfort, but a constant struggle.  There are all these easy-access (for adults and children) books now like Harry Potter, tons of vampire books, the Hunger Games...(but they can't compete with all the other distractions, iPad minis, the latest apps everyone's into, etc)...and I wonder how these sensational magicky books compare to the older kid lit books, the classics.  Did you ever read Tuck Everlasting?  That book totally haunted me.  And what about Madeleine L'Engle, HOLY.  I didn't really read much, just my favorites over and over.  I didn't get into the Hobbit when all the kids were schlepping it around, but I think it's cool now.  Oh, I read some Lemony Snicket cuz it's so weird! he writes such crazy stuff for kids!
Ok, that was the longest tangent ever.]

Monday, June 17, 2013



Have you ever looked at the Top Sellers at Shopbop? These are supposedly the most popular items of the week...but I think they must make them up.  Right?

Teddy Bear iPhone cover?

I admit, ok, that if someone got this for me, I would be HAPPY... 
But here are the reasons why I just COULDN'T accept:
  1. for iPhone 5 (i have 4S)
  2. it's $75
  3. self-respect

alice + olivia 
[nudie] lace shorts

  1. omg
  2. omg
  3. $385

Sunday, March 24, 2013

Kid of the Year

I tutor a few middle school students (an hour each, once a week) through Teton Literacy Center and maybe one shouldn't play favorites, but...ALAN IS MY FAVORITE !!!  He's in sixth grade and has a Russian tortoise named Sandy. We both like black ink pens that are made in Japan.  Isn't he cute?

A super nice kid who asks great questions and says "thank you."

Tuesday, March 19, 2013


Why do I write a blog?
  • Share what I think is interesting in the world
  • Reach out in a small way, to anyone who needs...distraction?
  • Sometimes I have something I need to tell someone and the right person isn't there
  • For people who seek me out (maybe three or four?), this is a warmhearted HELLO
  • Practice writing freely
  • A bridge between anonymous scribble and public release
  • It's fun to have something [small] on the web that's yours [even though Google no doubt collects all sorts of data from everything I write], not just your FB page
  • To ask important questions like, Is there a Uniqlo in SF? LA?

Monday, March 18, 2013

David Sedaris quit smoking??

Wow, I guess this blog is really: "Get the Latest...Five Years Later."
I just read When You Are Engulfed In Flames and it really is good.  I was off of David Sedaris for awhile, because that squirrel book was so weird.  I just re-read the good ones, like Naked, and I have Me Talk Pretty One Day (the audiobook) on iTunes for the car.

The title refers to DS's time in Japan, quitting smoking.  It's taken from the booklet in his Japanese hotel room.  This section--the last, called "The Smoking Section"--is so great.  Lots of Engrish, tales of him trying to learn Japanese (impressive, I think, considering he learned French as an adult not that long ago)--it's awesome. Made me remember all the strange things in Japan (to us, Americans) that are totally "normal."  I just watched the movie version of The Elegance of the Hedgehog (Muriel Barbery), entitled just "Hedgehog," and it also had lots of cool Japanese things--like the toilet seat that automatically blasts Mozart Requiem as soon as you sit down.  I want one of those.  When I was in Japan, I only saw the buttons in the public toilet stalls that just made a WHOOSHH fake toilet flush sound--they are so creatively discreet, the Japanese, aren't they?  I don't think I've ever seen a button like that, not even nearby--like in Korea or Hong Kong.

Anyway (if you haven't already, of course), you should read "...Engulfed In Flames."  It'll take you like an hour cuz it's so funny; it's guaranteed to will fill you life with "fun and joyful mind."

Now that he's quit smoking, I wonder: how is he going to stop himself from compulsively touching people's heads in airports and kissing light switches...?

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Next Stop Wonderland

Remember this movie?  It streams on Netflix now.  
That's Phillip Seymour Hoffman! 

Smith (Samantha's hot young boyfriend from SATC) makes a brief appearance too... This is an example of one of those amazing movies where by the end of the movie - magically! - the unattractive guy is totally dreamy.  Oh I love the music, too.

Still good after...omg..15 years! 

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

With the greatest respect...

Got this from "english teachers collective" on FB

Monday, March 4, 2013

HBR blog

I just saw a blog post Joel Stein wrote for the Harvard Business Review: Boringness: The Secret to Great Leadership.  Ha!  I'm glad he agrees with me that great leaders don't have to be so PUMPED and alpha all the time...
Cute pic I stole from

Sunday, March 3, 2013

O Wit

O to be as witty as some people.  Like, to be as clever as Wodehouse.  Or, to name someone living, as clever as Joel Stein, who also makes it look like he just types up his "Awesome Column" in maybe like, ten minutes...

"I generally advise people never ever to present assistance." 
                                                                            - P.G. Wodehouse

(The above I found on a pretty boring list of oxymorons (this one's better--v. amusing). It's listed elsewhere as "I always advise people never to give advice," which I think is less funny.

The Joel Stein column that cracked me up today was from the 2/25/13 issue of Time magazine...I can't find it online, so I'll excerpt some of the column (that's allowed, right?)
This is from "[Insert Catchy Name Here]," with the sub-title, "What I learned from winter storm Nemo:  news events need cuter names:"

"I asked Michael Scherer, TIME's White House correspondent, to try replacing sequestration--which is the situation in which the federal budget will be different if something doesn't something before something--in all his articles with Kanye.  So he wrote, "At this point, Republicans and Democrats agree on two things: Kanye is terrible policy, and the likelihood of Kanye going into effect is growing." He tried it in a bunch of other sentences and said, 'In all cases, replacing sequestration with Kanye improved the sentence and would increase my readership.  Let me know how you want to take this idea to the editors.'"
                                                                 - Joel Stein, "The Awesome Column"

Ho ho. Sequestration should totally be replaced by Kanye.

Did you know that Kanye West and Aziz Ansari hang out?

Happiness is so uncool

First, I didn't know Anne Hathaway was so hated, at least by women-girls in NYC.  She was good in "Devil Wears Prada" and was a convincing Catwoman. She was cute and funny in the bit I saw her in "Get Smart." I didn't really like her in that depressing draggy dysfunctional family drama, but that was more the movie.
But anyway, it's always been tricky being a girl and we should praise girls who might show that they want praise.  I kind of like Anne Hathaway, as sort of a younger Julia Roberts-type.
Anne Hathaway: The New Yorker
I think I like happy people.

I'm going to generalize about Girls now:
We are taught early to hide ambition in order to be liked, and praise the other girl in the room ("I LOVE your HAIR!")...And then, I guess, when we see a girl not really playing this game, we're like Dude, don't you know how this goes?  It's complicated though, because hiding our ambition/desires/pro-self-ness can demonstrate a whole array of things for both ourselves and others:

  • hiding that we care makes it easier to fake being ok when we fail (for ourselves and others)
  • hiding ourselves on purpose to highlight someone else shows that we (girls) care about others, by giving them the floor that we know/believe/hypothesize they empathy or sympathy
  • hiding is what we're taught (at least I was) from such a young age, so it's uncomfortable to be self-promoting or cheerleading for oneself.  feels gross.  
  • minimizing ourselves is part of this deft social game, this intelligence that reflects that you understand the complex web of other people's thoughts, feelings, and actually you DO care how they perceive if you don't "play," you are maybe lacking this type of intelligence? but then why all the resentment?  
I have no idea why people/women like Jennifer Lawrence, in contrast to A.H.  And I think people are being too sensitive if they are offended by the The Onion's tweet about the little girl from "Beasts of the Southern Wild"--I think it points out the ridiculous scrutiny and phony love/ hatred extremes of celebrity-watching and -worship.  And the Onion always does that stuff--go to extremes and point out our ridiculousness.  That's like their JOB.  You should see that movie, though ("Beasts/Southern Wild"): that little girl is amazing.  I can't remember her name but it starts with a Q.
I don't know exactly why...well, maybe I do...but this whole silly debate reminds of Helen Hunt in "Every Day" (Liev Schrieber).  Have you seen it?  
Also-what does sarcasm and suffering have to do with it?  We like unhappy, morose, dark, mopey people?  I don't think so.  Wait, maybe socially-awkward and shy can be endearing... I need to think about this more.

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Sunday, February 24, 2013

Romantics Anonymous

Hey Hannah and Ann,
Have you seen this movie, Romantics Anonymous?
It's Netflix-streamable.
We watched it last night and it was truly a delight.
It's really good à la Amélie--didn't I see that with you, Ann? like in the front row at Plaza Frontenac? I remember it was some kind of free showing...

Saturday, February 23, 2013

Enjoy Yourself excerpt--I think in the wrong order!

Enjoy yourself,
It's later than you think.
Enjoy yourself,
While you're still in the pink.

The years go by,
As quickly as a wink.
Enjoy yourself,
Enjoy yourself,
It's later than you think.

You're gonna take that two-week trip,
No matter come what may.
But every year you put it off,
You just can't get away.

Next year for sure you'll hit the road,
You'll really get a-round !
But how far can you travel
When you're six feet underground. [hey!]

You work and work,
For years and years.
You're always on the go.
You never take a minute off,
Too busy makin' dough.

Someday you say you'll have your fun,
When you're a millionaire.
Imagine all the fun you'll have
In your old rockin' chair.

Enjoy yourself,
It's later than you think.
Enjoy yourself,
While you're still in the pink.

The years go by,
As quickly as a wink.
Enjoy yourself,
Enjoy yourself,
It's later than you think.

Originally written by Carl Sigman, lyrics by Herb Magidson, 1949.

The Louis Prima version that's on House

Friday, February 22, 2013

Must Seriously See This

This is about EVERYTHING.
There are endless analogies you can draw from this (e.g., the creative process!), and it's really really entertaining, I promise you.
(Those are dancing-girl violinists surrounding a skull--and their violins light up for real.)

Everybody Lies But Me.

Let's get meta.  I will blog briefly about blogging.  I like it.  Selfishly, it's good for me because I feel better afterward, almost like I took a painkiller. It's like the weird craze over Psy and his not-just-Korean following --I admit that I watch that Gangnam Style video (incidentally: my parents used to live in Gangnam, in Seoul, for a few years in the 90's) and my pain is gone for a bit.  Therefore, Gangnam Style and blogging are painkillers.  And they don't ruin your liver.  (V Good)

I can't take NSAIDs because of my grody GI bleed (I will speak of this no more) a year ago, and it's weird to say it, but I really miss the comforts of ibuprofen.  Vicodin is just too scary to take because I remember how hard it was to get off of it.  It hurts MORE than the original pain it takes away.  Frightening. I didn't mean to get on this topic.  I am doing some nighttime therapeutic auto-writing, and hopefully tomorrow I won't be  a g h a s t  !
I don't know who reads this really, but I am getting better.  I am getting better.  Should I go watch The Secret on Netflix ?

BTW: Can someone tell me about LASER spine surgery?

Why Some TV is Good For You: House, MD

All the stuff I feel like we should all be talking about, thinking about...or at least wondering about: it all gets covered, and profoundly.  From what I hear people say, it seems a lot of people just don't get it.  They see the surface: a grouchy, mean smartypants doctor who pops vicodin.

Holy, it is so much more.  That is merely the thinnest rice-paper wrapping of everything that matters to humans and why we're alive. Call me ridiculous; I speak the truth. This show is (was) the sickness. Ha. (get it?)
Of course I sound like a teenybopper because of my beyond-enthusiastic level. Why it is so good and why I declare this even though I'm self-conscious enough to know I most likely will be dismissed as one of many idiots (homage) raving about some show like Glee.  (It doesn't really matter, I guess, but I don't want to be put in that category.  I don't watch Glee. And I'm not talking about for-enjoyment types of shows/movies/books right now.  Distraction is a different thing.)

I must explain why House is really really just important and good and proof of what many excellent minds working together can produce.  Like, how the composite of a bunch of smart people--collective mind? communal mind?-- can sometimes produce something near mystical, or at least really awesome.  For physical examples, let's say the Great Wall, the Empire State Building, the mystery of the Pyramids.  I'm just speaking of those "things" that are accomplished by many, that cannot be done by one [wo]man.  We just don't get enough circumstances or opportunities or nights in college to really explore what's really important.  I rationalize that I re-watch episodes multiple times because it's what I crave thinking about, presented to me so beautifully, compactly, avec Hugh Laurie (and Chase--who really does play the violin in real life, you can see it [again, for real] in the "Swan Song" final show--why the f*** would really really pretty people learn the violin?? another discussion)---it's a ~43 minute chunk of your life to think about human beings, what is important to us, what we hide from others and from ourselves, what we truly think about death. And in the most witty, intelligent, of-the-world (but not cold) entertainment form. It's more spiritual and thoughtful than Deepak but cleverly addresses the Things with a bright, questioning approach---its layers seem to speak directly to the people who are sincere in their desire to understand and make their lives somehow meaningful and true, but without running to a monastery (which is an option often discussed) to do it.

When I was a few years into my job (just out of school and in the non-changing existence of having a good job that is supposed to be the fulfillment of all your life's striving so far--no big thing) I watched and re-watched the first few seasons of House compulsively.  I was so so miserable and lonely and stuck and was supposed to be lucky and happy and thriving.  It was the worst time, but I couldn't complain and unfortunately my habit became shutting down and not talking for days.  (This is a terrible confession, but most people I know..well, they define me as a flake.  I feel so bad about this.  But I couldn't do anything about it. It was a stuckness I can't even talk about.)  Anyway, the things/people I could identify with were few and it was easier to just identify with created characters.  (At the time.  I'm still sort of a shut-in, but can fool people by acting very social too.  It's confusing to me.  When I took Myers-Briggs, I was exactly half extrovert and half introvert.  I took it twice because I thought the result made me seem wishywashy.  I am still having identity-type problems. It's not luxurious at my age; I thought thinking about it was indulgent for yeeeears, but it's not, I assure you. Perhaps it comes easily to most people? To me, it is difficult to get the gist of myself.)
I am not going to go into that further; it causes me to feel terrible and let's say we'll bury the Dead Past (Wodehouse).  Incidentally, the other thing I watched until the dvds were destroyed was Jeeves and Wooster (Hugh Laurie, Stephen Fry version)---but that was just enjoyment.

House, I watched, to survive.  This is not hyperbole.  One night I crafted a letter to the producers of the show thanking them for making this miracle show that allowed me to address all the scary (SCARY) aspects and layers of being alive in a sincere-to-yourself way---and making the case for living and not being careless with your life (believe me, I understand and still have problems with recklessness, and I apologize those that were affected by this--when you're depressed sometimes it's hard to care about yourself and you put yourself in potentially dangerous situations....Another discussion.) That draft of a letter was just middle-of-the-night silliness, I thought, and was embarrassed (why? who cares?) but now I think these moments of doing something you feel strongly motivated to do should be done without worrying so much about everyone/everything--I mean, it doesn't matter to those it doesn't matter to, and they can write me off, but maybe it will matter to a few people it will matter to, and that's good enough--or at least, a pretty good thing.
I will stop, even though I just said all that stuff, because I might stray into future-regret material.  People (me) are hypocrites.  Rationale is: it's hard to really do what you want/ think is good/ share what you feel --without worrying about those other people or pesky future me's (they are the worst) who will judge and ridicule.  Here's another I will regret tomorrow:
I think "twee" is the funniest word....


I ate some barely stir-fried vegetables and watched a scary movie (bad for digestion) since I wrote the above.
"Twee"--that had nothing to do with anything, sorry.  The word that House likes is "PITHY." House says it about every 10 episodes...

Maybe it's not good to have the world of the House character be the world you like to hang out in.  I have to admit I was born on the saddish side.  My grandma said I had a sad face.  Because my mom made me practice too much.

I keep hoping I'm snapping out of it. Apparently, I'm "languishing"---but that's way too romantic to describe it.  I'm in pain pretty much all the time.  I guess you can see how I can identify.  (with House).
So, identifying so well with a miserable person who somehow helps people reconcile with death...makes you maybe feel less lonely? But then, it's so comforting to be alone sometimes--or just not talking is safer, or easier, or less likely to cause me emotional-type pain, which you often can't see coming, because I can't handle emotional pain on top of physical pain.  Isolation is more like Insulation, at least for me.  I hope you understand.  I truly care about most all of my friends on FB, honestly and sincerely, I just can't reach out and apologize and explain (talk about it all) to everyone, or even a certain few individuals I almost CRAVE, wish to see...very very badly...because I miss them so much.  My shoulder hurts and it's caused me to be such an unbearable flake.  I can't talk about it ! (do you see the problem?  if you do, what do I do?)

Wednesday, February 20, 2013


i cried during Swan Song! 
i couldn't help it.

i bet i can do a lumbar puncture.

Thursday, February 14, 2013

WHAT? Happy VD.

As I ease back into the world, I am catching up with world events and
Did you know the Man Repeller got married??! He seems really sweet.

Saturday, February 2, 2013

i like it lots

Wanna read something good?
(Paul Rachele also has a blog: Teton Alpinist)