She Might Have it ALL

Bossypants (i finally read it) --Tina Fey's book seems so effortlessly written, like Hey, anyone can write a funny book! Liz Lemon can't seem to "have it all," but Tina Fey has it all plus some... Makes me kinda want to live in nyc.  Living there is like being in the running, even if you're not winning--or you can pretend anyway.  Tina Fey also reminds me of Emi.  I think I "entered her blog" (two summers in a row, shelled out to go to Stockholm) because I wanted her life so bad.  Check it out, it's not just me!  Her blog is blissful fantasy, beautiful escape... but it's actually her REAL LIFE.  

omg, I just went to her site (haven't been in a long while) and saw that she was featured in Swedish Elle...what the WHAT?? her life just gets better and better! ok, i wanna be Emi more than Tina Fey, it's decided.  But all that running... sheez.

AAAAGHH!!  see what happens? the irresistible inspirational/depressive combo-tug of emi's blog.  An hour just passed in like 2 seconds. You know,  "lftec" is not reflective of her writing here...Maybe it should be: "Real Notes on Happiness".  I really feel like taking notes when I read it. ok, must resist escapist fantasist non-reality reality and return to...reality.

omg it IS true

screw nyphil!! (it's pure envy is all, SIGH)

the picture that's been taken a gazillion+ times

thank u jerry seinfeld!!

MARRIAGE REF is frikin awesome. MARRIAGE REF IS %$#@?! AMAZING.
the following people advising people on marital spats.... a-maaaayy-zing:

...like ricky gervais said on npr, "who says no to a panel including larry david, madonna [and ricky gervais]?"

also, i misjudged eva longoria and kelly ripa.....HILARIOUS.  REALLY. HILARIOUS.  eva longoria, especially.  i had written her off cuz she's so pretty and happy and married to an NBA player, but holy she is so clever.  i just took a peep at their website---looks like george costanza (um jason alexander), martha stewart, and cedric the entertainer on the panel this week.  i watch on on-demand, so i can have my own private greedy marathon.  the interactions are PRICELESS.  can i use any more CAPITALS??

the host, somebody named something PAPA, is also quick-witted and amazingly funny.  i highly recommend, and i don't watch any reality-type shows (well, except totally awesome shows like Project Runway, NYC PREP, Make Me a Supermodel, MANHUNT --what happened to that awesome show?)...

"i totally lemoned that!"

"I'M DOIN' IT AWESOME"
our hero:

kitty krush

wait, one more thing

i could do my dishes or i could share more from my liz lemon/doormen/funny file:

"Laughter is medicine, right?  so i guess you could call me a doctor.."

('let's hear it for liz LE-MOOOOOOONNNNNN!!!!)

"chatting up your doorman"

oh sorry, i just realized my blog may be my "doorman".  except you are not a "captive" audience, of course (run!)

sometimes hugh laurie's dr. house voice is in my head and all the metaphors start conflicting.  (does that happen to you ?  haha)

we're all on planes. you can't jump off; jumping off is stupid.

if you don't like it, there are exits on every floor

can you believe in a God that hides in a closet

almost dying changes nothing; dying changes everything

the truth is out there ['dog day afternoon' episode']

but worth risking your life to know (a 'reasonable' swap for knowledge?)

 

i don't have time to sort this out.  i always start my posts when i don't have time...why do i do this? anyway, these illustrations stolen from agentbauer, dan berglund.  i think.

back-door bragging

ME: "Like, omg, I only had 425 readers this week, that totally sux !" (2 from italy, 1 from brussels, lots of readers in FULTON, ca--wheres that?) BLATANT! SHAMELESS! HOW CAN I SLEEP AT NIGHT? (well, i don't really so there ya go)

i need routine like air/ COMIC-CON 08

i told my friend i was going to visit him in cleveland tomorrow but i just never got the ticket. cleveland is just not that motivating. i went there once and i have no recollection except for snow and cold. no, that's just an easy excuse.. cleveland is just so blameable, an easy fall guy, just like saint louis, oh and maybe detroit. AS DR. HOUSE said--offering proof of the absence of an afterlife or heaven--"I don't need to go to Detroit to know it STINKS." haha.

this summer is difficult for me. i'm not complaining, really. this is my own specific challenge that maybe you would not identify with, perhaps at all. actually, i hope you don't resent me. when every day is a murky amorphous blob, i hyperventilate. figuratively (most of the time). self-doubt is at an all-time high. i think this will be deleted after i write it. but who knows? i may not be able to make a decision. (indecision is also at all-time high).

COMIC-CON sounds fun this year. (why oh why didn't i just stay an extra week!??) i'd like to see the hello kitty/darth vader guy (girl?) and various character-morphs (obamawankenobi, last year) wandering around. last year was fun. i thought it was just for comic book/anime/ gaming nerds; i didn't expect to see celebrities-- also didn't know it'd be so fun to see them--but they're all hanging around in san diego during comic-con, promoting their fall shows and doing panels, or i don't know, just hanging out. my aunt and her fam go every year. i tagged along last year (i got it in through sneaky but legal, i think, strategery) and i admit it was really fun. chewbacca and barack obama and even an UNI (yes, giant sea urchin harrassing people at the crosswalk) walking on the sidewalks like it's no big deal. it was FUN to catch glimpses of harold and kumar (john cho and kal penn), kristin chenoweth, ned from pushing daisies (what's his name?? he's much cuter/less cheezy in person i can report)... now i must remember his name or i'll worry i'm losing my memory. just a sec. no, it's gone-- you'll have to google it, if you really need to know. (it's bothering me, but i refuse to google for 24 hrs).

every network and film studio has it's own area--like NBC had a 30ROCK and OFFICE -filled area, Sci-Fi had its own battlestar galactica FRAKKIN area, etc., plus every big movie coming out had an area, plus lots of things to buy of course, and announcements of freebies on the loud speaker. it's super-chaotic and fun. at night there was this so-lame-it-was-almost-cool talent show, i think it was called "Masquerade." the show was so packed we could only get into an overflow room with a huge screen.

this year i hear there are lots of cool guests:

adam west, ray bradbury, the TWILIGHT cast (see previous post on hot creeps), the MythBusters' dudes, Lela Lee (ANGRY LITTLE GIRLS-really really good cartoon), oh and --AMAZING!-- rarely-seen japanese animator HAYAO MIYAZAKI (spirited away), which i guess demonstrates how international the convention is getting.

[duh LEE PACE!! it just came to me--you know, ned from pushing daisies.]

i just skimmed an article in nytimes--neat-o: miyazaki is promoting his new movie, PONYO, an animated film "about a goldfish mermaid and her young boy companion." the japanese really know how to mix cute/pervy/artsy in the best way. that sounds amazing. i like how the nytimes just states it, like no big deal---sheesh, it's just a mermaid that's a goldfish and her boyfriend, get over it-be liberal and cool and open-minded.

correction

remember back when i said reality disappoints (an hour ago)? i spoke hastily and carelessly--s'not (haha) true. cuz when i met pete hornberger in real life (scott adsit?) it was like the sun was shining extra bright and his face was highlighted in that saintly way, but FOR REAL... when he called me "bles-sed," a fire was ignited inside my soul.. FOR REAL.. how do i become his personal assistant? does anyone know him? wait, does anyone read this?

(also, kristin chenoweth was better--unbelievably; i mean, how could it be?--even better in real life).

wha' happened?

my blogging self has disappeared. wha happened to her? i'll just spout random things til she comes back... hmm. wow, and it's been since the 12th? why? oh it's cuz opera started--YES, i can blame opera! that's what everyone does---the fraudiness of stuff started bogging me down. i must remember, mental note-to-self: morons shouldn't prevent me from just doing my easy-peasy job and collecting my easy-peasy paycheck. plus, i like salome and i LOVE marie antoinette, so what am i complaining about? (i used to actually love playing opera, don't tell-- i liked being hidden in the tiny pit, being unseen, playing too loud, wearing black "yoga" pants--> the noticing of the glaring frauds was always in the background, but didn't enter the foreground and start harrassing me til much later, like a few years ago..)
nevermind, this is turning dull... oh i also read daphne merkin's article in last sunday's nytimes magazine that sort of gave me permission to stop faking it by writing stuff that seemed happy. if it takes a pot of coffee and an hour of self-motivational self-talk and self-loathing just to beat the depressing thoughts away, write normal happyish things, do normal errand-y things, etc., no wonder i'm dead tired by like 5pm. so, i decided to give up on everything and see what happens. [ok, full disclosure: i also ran out of STUMPTOWN and didn't want to drink sub-standard (now everything is substandard) coffee.. people from portland or red hook, help a fellow addict! 7330a Lindell, 63130! ]

here's a great quote (and accurate too) about coffee from 30ROCK:

"It's like my heart is trying to hug my brain!!" (kenneth the page)

here's another great quote from golf digest:

"Lick from the lollipop of mediocrity once, and you suck forever" (rory somebody, can't remember his name, not enough coffee--which stimulates your brain ya know)

HOLY--talk about mediocrity: i don't know how to blog, even---someone tell me, please:

1) how do you get out "blockquote" mode? (GET ME OUTTA HERE!)

2) how do you link from a word, instead of pasting the whole link, moron-style? (thank you kva--figured it out. it's the highlighting, durrr)

i gotta end this post and start a fresh one cuz i can't get outta blockquote. yes i went to college, just shut up. (someone help me with these formatting thingies)