Everybody Lies But Me.

Let's get meta.  I will blog briefly about blogging.  I like it.  Selfishly, it's good for me because I feel better afterward, almost like I took a painkiller. It's like the weird craze over Psy and his not-just-Korean following --I admit that I watch that Gangnam Style video (incidentally: my parents used to live in Gangnam, in Seoul, for a few years in the 90's) and my pain is gone for a bit.  Therefore, Gangnam Style and blogging are painkillers.  And they don't ruin your liver.  (V Good)

I can't take NSAIDs because of my grody GI bleed (I will speak of this no more) a year ago, and it's weird to say it, but I really miss the comforts of ibuprofen.  Vicodin is just too scary to take because I remember how hard it was to get off of it.  It hurts MORE than the original pain it takes away.  Frightening. I didn't mean to get on this topic.  I am doing some nighttime therapeutic auto-writing, and hopefully tomorrow I won't be  a g h a s t  !
I don't know who reads this really, but I am getting better.  I am getting better.  Should I go watch The Secret on Netflix ?

BTW: Can someone tell me about LASER spine surgery?

i uh don't understand korean culture.

THIS is #1 on NPR Music "Most Emailed":

Everybody Wants to Be a K-Pop Singer

is it...cuz i don't eat kimchi?

lunch with tim!

my friend tim is in town with the Mahler Chamber Orchestra and randomly (well, i saw his update on facebook and contacted him) we got to meet for lunch!  we were at Taos together more than ten years ago!! 

random signage: i think it's for the christian democratic party

we had bimbimbop.  not so good, this place:

if you're craving bimbimbop in Stockholm, i would go to Arirang, which i saw near my hotel.  i've heard good things about that place.  i took a picture last nite.

korean market

"choco cake"

in earlier news

jooyeon came over and made kimchee chigae!

i am now officially a real Korean, not the fraud-kind.  i have eaten kimchee and it was good.

thanks jooyeon!

hello nu york

my camera cable is busted, but out of sheer desperation i am able to hold the plug at this ridiculous angle, push really hard, hold it there, somehow with one hand, then with other hand click on the pics and download them.  how can a sony camera cable break? what happened to japanese electronics being so superduper?  well, i guess there's toyota... maybe i'll go korean next time (haha kidding).

i think there's a J&R across the street from this starbucks. hmm. will try to find new cable cord thingy.

more pics from my long-ass airlink shuttle ride into the city:

huh?

vital article on lady gaga's mad ambition, this week's nymag. (vanessa grigoriadis--she's usu. v. funny)

sky's the limit/ you're not trying hard enough

don't get greedy, people!  i can't even use mascara!!
but talk about butterfly's-wings-fragiléeee... beautfieeeful
perhaps i will be able to wear them someday *sigh* after my eyelid operation ("sankapul surgery" for those who went to juilliard, or any conservatory really) and facelift -combo outpatient service in 압쿠종 .  i'm sure this exists btw.  cuz then you need to get your hair done and get to prada before it closes.
barf.

thank you andrew---you are so truly artistic, always noticing beauty and beautiful strangeness and unexpected beautiful strangeness.  thanx again for the alert.

paperself is itself really amazing; they're like origami gone picasso on crack hooked up to IV drip of creativity.  i'm envious of creativity.  i'd like to be creative. i'd like to see everything super-new again like a child.  can i just have a new spongy brain or something?

yeah that's like furniture and LIGHTING (fire hazard?)

look at this beautifully intricate array of fanciful-to-max styles:

"peach blossoms "

(i think it's peachBOY momotaro, right?)

"horses"

i say zebras.

"peonies"

huh?

anyway, so pretty and otherworldly.

this totally makes up for andrew's comments about my personality.

"you know, i live my liiife, like a ..book left open in the wind"

YAY YUNA!!!

bad ass pic from cho-sun ilbo

other motivating factors?

latimes

i am big hypocrite. who knew?

i am a 공주.  honesty=best policy, esp. dealing with yourself.  i like valentines, it turns out.  i guess i never got that kind of personalized attention before so i decided to just hate the whole thing, flowers, chocolates, barf barf barf.  and of course the swedes sealed the deal for me by hating the fake holiday. and i always try to emulate the swedes.  but... if someone knows you hate the CHEEZE but somehow they also know you really do like someone being genuine and thoughtful (genuinely thoughtful, i guess i mean) even if you yourself don't even know that (brilliant huh) it is then SUPER DUPER cool.  valentine's day can be done subtly, i have just learned.  it's genius, especially here in the midwest where cheeze rulez.  (provel: ewww)

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for this wholly new experience! whoa, sincerity, qu'est-ce que c'est?  we are ALL too cool for that!  wait, why is this sooooo cool?  oh someone with a really cool genius brain behind it... ahh so.  what a diff a brain makes.  seriously. wow.
(ok, i'm still a hypocrite.  i told you, i know.  honesty, good policy.)  but check it!:

ORCHIDS WHEN IT'S SNOWING ??  QUOI?!  with eucalpytus and subtle minimalist greenery? what? no!! oh but 'tis true.  Y E S:

i separated all of the diff elements so the orchids could BREATHE

CHOCOLATES THAT ARE UNPRETENTIOUSLY AMAZINGLY DELICIOUS AND LOCALLY GROWN???  IMPOSSIBLE, you say?  MAIS NON!

made in st louie; believe it.   and they're so good i cannot inhale. believe it!

[i just tried a bit of the above.  it has a really stimulating and fascinating ko-ju-jang (i'm serious.. seriously!) delayed-SPICE that just made me cough. (not cuz i'm a wuss, but because it caught me by surprise)  and i only had a tiny corner.  must be korean cowboy candy.  oh and--

i was going to include pic of the thrilling (incroyable) sea salt caramels but they're GONE!  wha' hap'nd?]

most over-looked/BEST dinner (understated, nonsalty, delicious) in st. louis is at MAYA'S in maplewood.

you MUST go there.  everything is fresh and amazing.  the people there are super nice and smart and funny.  and musically-inclined!  they are starting as a live music venue soon-- a real stage and green room and everything!  since i am starved for responsibility i volunteered to be in charge of the classical music. yes moi.

also, margaritas are "best in st. louis"--says so on their website! but also i tried--very good.

i had never even heard of this place or seen it, nothin.  the decor is also understatedly witty-cool.

we sat by this:

 

this work was done esp. for Maya's by the unofficial official interior decor genius

 at Maya's, who originally was...a sign designer.  neat-o, eh?

(his name is Bill Christman.  here is an excellent blurb i found about him.  he apparently really is a genius.  did the sculptures at the singularly cool --not just st. louis, but really just VERY COOL--City Museum. (it's like a mini late-nite amusement park, with a bar. i'm not kidding.))

the surprise "valentines" dessert was a delicious un-cheeze perfect fresh single jumbo-sized STRAWBERRY which tasted better than anything in the whole world on this snowy cold day. better. than. ANYTHING.  (not hyperbole. in this case.) 

whew: took picture before completely devouring:

this was actually strawberry #2, since my companion is selflessly generous and gave me his. 

(i ate both with several utencils, it seems.)

i am still marveling at it all.  i even got to talk continuously through three episodes of the BEST SHOW ever, my companion completely unfazed.  if that isn't sincere kindness...  (continuously, seriously)

i will officially start my (MY) year of the tiger tomorrow.  no sugar (less headache), better sleep habits, no more hideous flakiness.  it is MY year.  MY YEAR!!  

(OMG that sounds SO george constanza, e.g.-- "it's the SUMMER OF GEORGE!")

hide-and-seek

here is 5-min-from-ma-vie-ennuyeuse-type post, comme d'habitude, EXCEPT that it really was FIVE MINUTES from my life, circa 11pm last night...

last night did ya look at the MOON ?? 
cuz it was freaky-deaky! spooky-dooky!
i was driving along after going to borders...

luckily u cannot see my adult acne (severe)

then, i first noticed this, which was of course FATED (cuz then i noticed the MOON)

all within five minutes or so, the moon--or the fast-moving clouds if u wanna be specific-- was playing peek-a-boo at a quick rate, so quick i could barely catch it.

[note to mom: i got out of the car, so don't get worried, it's not like st. louis is 1st in crime or anything]

yes! with my silly camera that can't do anything!

looks like a rabbit sorta (toki!! or korea-shaped)

bubye~

coy.

oh, herro.

eerie.

eating pizza and regretting it within secs

holy moment-on-the-lips-lifetime-on-the.. (oh god! hopefully not)..
here are some fun peeps, the brazen and hilarious hannah, violinist, her boyfriend and frequent chamber music collaborator (hahahaha, he would laff too) chris,violist (don't hold against him, he's still v. cool) and lovable just-from-aruba (bee-YOTCH) ranya (i love her name, don't you?) who is a cellist/rockstar:

chris and some asian girl who cannot smile* ('tard!)

smiley chris and non-smiley morose girl who is flaring her nostrils like a horse (v. becoming)

hannah, who i prompted like tyra banks: I WANT FIERCE! IN THE EYES!! NOW!!!

SO FIERCE a ghost wanted some of that (spooky)

ranya=innocente; hannah=mastering fierce (bordering on menacing)

ranya's had enough, hannah still "there"--she is not drunk, just assertive!

right now i am slathered in biofreeze and cleaning.  as you can see, i'm blogging more than cleaning, but still... hey, laundry's done, bubye!

*after 3 beethoven 5's in 2 days, morose girl is too tired to smile. (that's my excuse/i'm stickin' to it)!

clogs, blogs, dogs

does "hwang kum" mean "girly"?

i felt

 like a sh*t for posting the most trivial post ever (see: chanel clogs) when there was major natural calamity, but i am just out-of-touch, not callous...let's study the words of true sh*ts (i know theyre easy to hate) pat robertson,  rush limbaugh and even left-wing ppl who politicize human suffering, use it amazingly to breed division, calling people away from our natural humanity (maybe they don't have souls? compasssion?really?) i really am incredulous and hateful toward them because the ONLY bright light in these huge disasters is the unifying force of compassion, the bringing together of international-scale humanity, the highlighting of our togetherness in the world, for once smoothing over divisions of religion/politics/history.... what kind of huge-scale A**HOLE would want to draw division, bring back our trivial disagreements and jerkiness?  also what kind of self-absorbed--to the point of high-ridiculous-level of un-awareness--sacs de douches be surprised that these comments wouldn't be well-received?  how did they achieve such profound f-ed-up courage-of-their-convictions?  their mounds of fan-mail?  fame? or...do they believing stirring up controversy is their "job?"

well, my innocuous clogs are put in my own kind of perspective= an embarrasing inattention to news on my part, not outright thoughtlessness.  feeling bad has its own contexts.  being sick and having no hot water for a  day did cause me to pity myself --yes(truth. sorry.).  feeling bad about feeling bad in today's context is troubling in its own way (disrespectful or diminishing or some d-word)--depressing that you can be depressed even when you don't suffer enough to claim it (just be grateful? seems like a mild schadenfreude) and evolutionarily are we wired to suddenly put everything in perspective in lasting fashion/ do we care on that large scale the same way we care about a friend-- anyway, i feel disingenous to act as if i can even begin to truly comprehend... the number of people affected, then hunger, water, destruction...  so i'm embracing a role to Distract.  i'm not going to think about it for a sec.  except to say i (can only speak personally of course) feel helpless--that i feel i am wired to help and care for those around me, for the people i know, because i feel i CAN...the tsunami, katrina, haiti--these i have trouble filing, too large for me to absorb... on smaller note also seems weird that bill clinton and george dubya are teaming up.  whatever, i'm sure obama is a billion times smarter than me.

for today, i am posting a pic of a sweater you can buy for your boyfriend that would make him positively ADORKABLE --cuz all boys want to look cute!--to humbly demonstrate i don't know much...(but i know..).. that i don't understand the world (let alone koreans).  it's from a wonderfully fun fun fun site called yes style!! haha.  have a laugh at the asian fashion.  have a laugh that i like it !  (i'd wear that plaid top) these boys are more femme than i am-- i mean, they are comfortable in their masculinity so bravo!

yeah you know he thinks he looks hot

back-door bragging

ME: "Like, omg, I only had 425 readers this week, that totally sux !" (2 from italy, 1 from brussels, lots of readers in FULTON, ca--wheres that?) BLATANT! SHAMELESS! HOW CAN I SLEEP AT NIGHT? (well, i don't really so there ya go)

HEY SHAKIRA--are those HAMBOK glow-in-the-dark??

bravo to shakira: you are SO innovative!!!!! where'd you get the idea of using korean lady drummers in your song, whoa! the sleeves looked like they were lamé, somehow blingy. i am in such a state of surprise --i just saw them on SNL.

in korean dance class (at someone's house when i was in elementary school) i always wanted to do that--they do that drumming thing where they spin completely around while continuing to drum, y'know what i mean? anyway, i used to practice it on imaginary drum in my room. i just learned the sleeve dance and the fan (really fun) dancing. don't remember much of the actual dancing. except i DID think i was really good at it; i thought i had this natural talent or something, haha---like, i really was feeling it, that i knew how to do it just naturally (cuz it's in my blood, man!) actually my only clear memory was that we got to eat these totally junky totino pizza rolls and cheetos during our break. it was memorable only because my mom would NEVER let me eat that at home... mom, if you are reading, did you know what junky food they were serving us while we kids were learning this wonderful historical tradition? did you just let it go to like, fit in with the other moms? wait, that doesn't really sound like you...!

handwriting camp!

PENMANSHIP MAKES A COMEBACK!! apparently now it's all novel, quaint-cool to learn proper old-school cursive. in the LAtimes today there's an article about the "revival" of handwriting class, even handwriting summer camp.

but, don't kids still learn handwriting/cursive in elementary school? i thought everyone was excited to learn "italic" (the precursor to *shriek!* cursive) in the 2nd grade and then *WOW!!* super in-disbelief-excited to learn CURSIVE in 3rd grade.. (or was that just me?) no, i really remember the incredulous excitement to learn the grown-up swirly fancy style.

maybe i'm conservative, but i'm a handwriting-judger; i can't help it. it was drilled into me that your handwriting is basically YOU on paper, so i took some care not to look too loopy/sloppy/ stooopid... and thus i'm a lifelong judger: if i see cheerleader handwriting, i extrapolate, infer things cheerleader-like about your personality. is that wrong?

also, it's not like we have to write/memorize the millions of strokes of chinese characters like the poor chinese kiddies (and japanese and korean, to a lesser extent).

check it out:

Jan Z. Olsen, founder of Handwriting Without Tears, a handwriting curriculum used in many American and foreign schools and by Fortunato, said that handwriting skills began to wane in the 1970s when focus "shifted to expressive writing, to skills of persuasion and description, to content rather than form."

Students lost the ability to punctuate and space letters properly or even how to form letters, Olsen said. Instant and text messaging have exacerbated the problems, she said, but there has been a resurgence of interest in handwriting.

[an earlier paragraph:]

A recent Vanderbilt University study found that students with better handwriting are judged more favorably by teachers and earn better grades. In 2005, the SAT tests introduced a handwritten essay section.

Penmanship makes a comeback, hurrah!