Monday, January 25, 2010

insomnia update (wake up and listen!)

i figured out what i feel like--- it's like i'm a morning person with perpetual jet-lag.

last nite i took unisom. since it is over-the-counter, it must be completely innocuous, right?  i read the box and seems to be the sleepy stuff in nyquil, sans the acetaminophen, anti-histamine, etc.  much better than the desperate reach for benadryl-type sleep medication----ho-ly co-ma.  THAT stuff--(diphenhydramine)--which is so casually prescribed (well, it's not prescription, but u know what i mean) can make you out of it for DAYS, un-relievable by coffee, tea (speed, heroin).   you know that QUACK (NO doubt he is --obliviously--spreading pain, frustration, and further suffering--i think his goofy medical advice is actually dangerous, perhaps morally reprehensible, except he's just self-satisfied and idiotic, so i guess it's more just NEGLIGENCE. oh that's not dangerous at all.)...oh, i'm talking about dr. zorba from the sunday (in st. louis anyway) either at noon or 1--show, "dr. zorba on your health".   i cannot stand to listen but when i happen to catch it, i'm always horrified at his medical advice.  the worst was when he told this girl (grad student) who kept having that horrible horrible TERRIFYING experience--when, while sleeping, you "wake up" mentally but perhaps due to tiredness or some kind of mis-wiring of brain-body (connection that disconnects for sleep so you don't start acting out your dreams)  your body doesn't wake up with you.  it was the most terrifying moment (felt like eternity) in my life...not kidding.. i have only had this once, at aspen one summer during an afternoon collapse-type nap from nights of not sleeping enough--aaahh! so scary and horrible it was.  it's like that french movie, The Diving Bell and The Butterfly, "locked-in syndrome".. except --hopefully--it's temporary.  you lay there trying to move a finger, toe, anything, silently screaming "i can't move! i can't move!  help help help!" but you can't even move your mouth, operate your voice.  let me be explicity clear: you are completely awake; this is not a dream-state or sleep-state.  you can hear people, noises around you, are completely awake---yet you, try try try-as-u-might, cannot move, cannot speak, cannot command your body to do anything.  anyway, this grad student who called in to "dr." zorba was complaining of this very condition, except hers happened more than once, actually almost every night!!  she figured out a way to just keep screaming (inside her head) and kicking her legs (trying to kick--so again, mentally) in frantic crazy way until eventually (from pure will, it seems--more will than i had/have) could kick her boyfriend (for real) awake, then they had some sort of arrangement where he would sort of help her wake up (? dont remember)... anyway, dr. zorba giggled and said you know, this is nothing at all;  you just have to make sure your sheets are not on the bed too tight, which can constrict your feet/legs..  i was like, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?????? oh it is so wrong that he is on npr with that even more idiotic nutjob old dude sidekick (who won't eat vegetables and thinks tofu is for weirdos) ---i cannot stand it... criminally negligent homicide (i'm sure he has killed before).  anyway, where was i?  oh yeah, he casually prescribes "benadryl" in massive dosages throughout the day even ("if you can handle it---try it first") and recently i heard him tell a guy to just keep taking it regularly, day and night, gradually upping the doses.  how is he supposed to go to work? function? keep his head up?  i know drugs have different effects on people, but it's pretty common i think to take a benadryl and then suddenly find yourself, 5 hours later (or 3 days later) on the floor in a pool of drool.  personally, if i take one at night for really really bad runny-nose/congestion (cuz it does work well) i consciously sign-on to the commitment of being a space-case for the next one and half days (at least).  anyway, dr. zorba--so casual, so wrong, so stupid.  more importantly, so DANGEROUS.  don't ever listen to that dude.  please!  (i know he's sounds so nice and harmless and is from the upper midwest, but he is dangerous!  DANGEROUS, I SAY!!!!! 
this is my PSA for the month.  no zorba.  ever.  tell your friends

1 comment:

  1. i used to get that sleep paralysis yuck every time i took a nap someplace warm - so pretty much every day when i lived in florida. i finally figured out that i could force myself to wiggle a toe, or maybe a finger, and then could eventually break out of it. i have to say, though, that while most people say it's a horrifying feeling, i was never scared or terrified...more irritated and frustrated. typical me :>