Tuesday, August 11, 2009

afternoon sloth-iness + disorder

i'm going to blog about blogging. that's so meta! [unrelated stalling: in a period of one month (june, i think) i was told, by two different people, to "always trust my feelings" and that "feelings always lie"--but counsel is always confusing, like "being yourself" is always scary. (e.g. someone else told me i absolutely have to wear mascara, because "they're your power"-->eyelashes!? oh no: mine are sparse and go straight down, weakly!)]
ok, back to the post-modern (sorry!) analysis: my blog posts spring forth fully-formed from my tiny (huge air-filled melon, small cerebrum) head like b.s. spews forth unbidden from my mouth. i am zeus! you hate me! this afternoon: i spent 30 minutes picking a font for a letter that i didn't end up sending. i spent 2+ hours half-watching (half-pacing, moving things around my apt) NYC Prep, evilly laughing aloud when i saw a promo for tonight's episode where jessie falls down a flight of stairs at her "fashion event"--(how can a h.s. kid get a job working for carmen marc valvo; wait, am i jealous?). i AM jealous; at twice their age, i don't have half their ASSUREDNESS. they are SO SURE that they are going to be a popstar/get a glam job in fashion/get into harvard... they're so smart! talented! sophisticated! (ok, i know there lurks an elaborate and complex teen-age lasagne of self-deception, but it still comes off as...well, CONFIDENCE.)
here's a slice of the more noxious side of the show: there's a scene where two private school guys with identical longish shaggy haircuts casually discuss (dismiss) Public School Girls-- "you know they like, post pictures of themselves with their boyfriends on facebook"; "they can't even hold a conversation"; "they're like all emotional, not like private school girls"..... !!
ok i am now on a full NYC Prep tangent, sorry...must attempt to remember/recreate (i'm an unreliable scribe) another great conversation, this time between two private school girls--at a coffeeshop (to discuss one of the girls' upcoming dinner party--(h.s. dinner parties??)):

girl #1: so...i went on a date with X last nite...
girl #2: omg how was it?
#1: it was like a TOTAL trainwreck..
#2: omg, was it...STAG-NANT?

i can't really convey it (the magic) by the written word---there were fermatas on the "STAG-" and the "-NANT" and it was delivered in this extreme, REALLY EXTREME valley girl -style (like, i can't even do it and i'm totally from LA). this show is amazing. i must remember to keep pen and paper nearby.
i first watched NYC Prep last week on mute (the mere sight of their teenaged, know-it-all expressions/gestures were bad enough, i thought) while i was talking to my friend peter on the phone... but then i unmuted (on his recommendation) and found myself glued and taking notes. but really, it's superficial and a big waste of time (hugely fascinating and educational). do NOT watch this show (you must watch!)!
---must end NYC Prep tangent!-------------
i was going to write about the organic nature of my writing process, how it starts usu. with some mild stimulants (whole pot of coffee, diet dr. pepper, methamphetamine, assorted inhalants--and, my mom reads this, so--crack cocaine, ding-dongs, and unwashed fruits) and ends with... a HIT SONG! cuz i am brilliant like rivers cuomo from WEEZER! (when asked by terry gross on Fresh Air to describe his creative process--How do you write songs? How do you start? --mr. cuomo said it begins with sitting in his yard, taking 2 ritalin, downing a scotch (or was it tequila?), and letting it all come naturally...) oh but he went to harvard, didn't he?
and--yessss it's true-- i'm a PUBLIC SCHOOL GIRL.. who steals photos from other websites (sorry etsy, sorry agent bauer) and writes captions and calls it blogging. i hate you, NYC Prep jerks!

"omg, you can totally tell when someone is not, like, from new york, like when they're not a real person.." (from NYC Prep)

photos by alexander crispin, found on agentbauer.com.


  1. Well, I went to HS in NYC, and I never said those things... maybe times have changed... I only cared about two things: 1. Is she hot? 2. Will she say stuff so I don't have to constantly think of things to say? I can't believe these conversations - what kind of loser even NOTICES what school a girl goes to? wow...


  2. ur funny! actually, things haven't changed much at all.. they just throw charity benefits ("omg he's so sensitive") to get girls.. ok, pretty much EVERYTHING the guys do is to "improve their odds" (their phrase) with CHICKS! (wait does that change with age?)

  3. Yes, it does change... we start out trying to "improve our odds with chicks", then very gradually we begin chasing immortality instead.

    Yes... I am deep....