afternoon sloth-iness + disorder

i'm going to blog about blogging. that's so meta! [unrelated stalling: in a period of one month (june, i think) i was told, by two different people, to "always trust my feelings" and that "feelings always lie"--but counsel is always confusing, like "being yourself" is always scary. (e.g. someone else told me i absolutely have to wear mascara, because "they're your power"-->eyelashes!? oh no: mine are sparse and go straight down, weakly!)]

ok, back to the post-modern (sorry!) analysis: my blog posts spring forth fully-formed from my tiny (huge air-filled melon, small cerebrum) head like b.s. spews forth unbidden from my mouth. i am zeus! you hate me! this afternoon: i spent 30 minutes picking a font for a letter that i didn't end up sending. i spent 2+ hours half-watching (half-pacing, moving things around my apt) NYC Prep, evilly laughing aloud when i saw a promo for tonight's episode where jessie falls down a flight of stairs at her "fashion event"--(how can a h.s. kid get a job working for carmen marc valvo; wait, am i jealous?). i AM jealous; at twice their age, i don't have half their ASSUREDNESS. they are SO SURE that they are going to be a popstar/get a glam job in fashion/get into harvard... they're so smart! talented! sophisticated! (ok, i know there lurks an elaborate and complex teen-age lasagne of self-deception, but it still comes off as...well, CONFIDENCE.)

here's a slice of the more noxious side of the show: there's a scene where two private school guys with identical longish shaggy haircuts casually discuss (dismiss) Public School Girls-- "you know they like, post pictures of themselves with their boyfriends on facebook"; "they can't even hold a conversation"; "they're like all emotional, not like private school girls"..... !!

ok i am now on a full NYC Prep tangent, sorry...must attempt to remember/recreate (i'm an unreliable scribe) another great conversation, this time between two private school girls--at a coffeeshop (to discuss one of the girls' upcoming dinner party--(h.s. dinner parties??)):

girl #1: so...i went on a date with X last nite...

girl #2: omg how was it?

#1: it was like a TOTAL trainwreck..

#2: omg, was it...STAG-NANT?

i can't really convey it (the magic) by the written word---there were fermatas on the "STAG-" and the "-NANT" and it was delivered in this extreme, REALLY EXTREME valley girl -style (like, i can't even do it and i'm totally from LA). this show is amazing. i must remember to keep pen and paper nearby.

i first watched NYC Prep last week on mute (the mere sight of their teenaged, know-it-all expressions/gestures were bad enough, i thought) while i was talking to my friend peter on the phone... but then i unmuted (on his recommendation) and found myself glued and taking notes. but really, it's superficial and a big waste of time (hugely fascinating and educational). do NOT watch this show (you must watch!)!

---must end NYC Prep tangent!-------------

i was going to write about the organic nature of my writing process, how it starts usu. with some mild stimulants (whole pot of coffee, diet dr. pepper, methamphetamine, assorted inhalants--and, my mom reads this, so--crack cocaine, ding-dongs, and unwashed fruits) and ends with... a HIT SONG! cuz i am brilliant like rivers cuomo from WEEZER! (when asked by terry gross on Fresh Air to describe his creative process--How do you write songs? How do you start? --mr. cuomo said it begins with sitting in his yard, taking 2 ritalin, downing a scotch (or was it tequila?), and letting it all come naturally...) oh but he went to harvard, didn't he?

and--yessss it's true-- i'm a PUBLIC SCHOOL GIRL.. who steals photos from other websites (sorry etsy, sorry agent bauer) and writes captions and calls it blogging. i hate you, NYC Prep jerks!

"omg, you can totally tell when someone is not, like, from new york, like when they're not a real person.." (from NYC Prep)

photos by alexander crispin, found on agentbauer.com.